


like i'm gonna lose you

by yasungwoo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst?, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M, Miscommunication, but nothing bad happens, jaehyun is kinda dumb, jaehyun is really dumb, not really angsty but doyoung is sad and cries, sad doyoung, they are all happy in the end, they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 16:44:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17729003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasungwoo/pseuds/yasungwoo
Summary: It takes Jaehyun two weeks to finally tell Doyoung about his problem.A long time for Doyoung to think that his boyfriend wants to break up with him.





	like i'm gonna lose you

**Author's Note:**

> i finally managed to post a dojae fic.
> 
> enjoy! <3

After a relationship of almost four years, Doyoung has finally managed to bore Jaehyun out. They didn’t have physical contact, more than a little peck, in over two weeks and in this time, Doyoung started to realize that Jaehyun was seeing someone else.  
It started on their day off, as Doyoung woke up to an empty bed, Jaehyun wasn’t at home and nobody knew where he was. He came back home around noon and declared that the manager wanted to see him, not even greeting Doyoung before he left the living room to go to the kitchen. Taeyong was mumbling that he wasn’t aware of Jaehyun having schedule and it made Doyoungs stomach feel weird. Why was Jaehyun lying?  
In addition to the weird behavior in the morning, Jaehyun didn’t let Doyoung do anything in the direction of sex. They actually planned to spend the whole afternoon and evening in their room to finally feel each other again but Jaehyun sat in the living room with his eyes glued to the TV screen, letting Doyoung kiss his neck but he himself did nothing. (It ended with Doyoung fleeing to their shared room to get himself off and Jaehyun walked in on him, leaving as he noticed what Doyoung was doing. Doyoung fell asleep to the sound of his own tears that night.)

They cleared up their non-argument the day after, Jaehyun apologized for his weird behavior, saying that he was tired. Doyoung let it slide, the odd feeling in his stomach still there. It did not get better as Jaehyun came back to their room, phone pressed on his ear, leaving again as he saw Doyoung sitting on the bed. So much of trusting each other with everything.  
He came back a few minutes later, smiling widely at Doyoung and pecking his forehead.  
„How’s my favorite person doing?“, he asked as he flopped onto the bed next to Doyoung. Yeah, favorite person, haha.  
„Good.“  
Doyoungs hand still found Jaehyuns soft hair, ruffling it gently. Jaehyun was looking ethereal, eyes closed and the shadow of his perfect long eyelashes fell on his cheeks.  
„Who was on the phone?“, Doyoung asked, studying the face of his boyfriend, trying to connect this angelic face with the term ‚cheater’. He couldn’t.  
„My mom.“  
It felt like a punch in the stomach. Jaehyuns mom would’ve asked to talk to Doyoung or at least greet him, he was sure about that. Liar, liar, liar.  
Jaehyun nuzzled himself into Doyoungs side and it made Doyoungs heart beat faster. His boyfriend fell asleep immediately and Doyoung nudged himself out of Jaehyuns grip, leaving the room to go to the kitchen. Ten was there, clothed in a way too big shirt as he stood at the sink and downed a glass of water.  
Doyoung dropped his head onto Tens shoulder, who gasped, noticing his best friend.  
„Hey Doie, what‘s up?“  
Ten gently patted Doyoungs hair, placing his glass on the counter and hugged him.  
„I’m feeling horrible.“  
And then the tears came. Doyoung was fully sobbing in Tens arms.  
„Shit, shit, shit.“, Ten cursed, rocking Doyoung in his arms so that he would eventually stop crying, which he didn’t.  
„Should I go get Jaehyun?“  
Doyoung shook his head aggressively.   
„He...h-he...“  
Ten was tensing up, looking at Doyoung worriedly.  
„Don’t tell me he’s the reason for this.“  
Doyoung nodded weakly. Tens eyes went wide and he hugged Doyoung tightly.  
„Do you want to talk about it?“

Talking to Ten helped a bit, Doyoung didn’t feel like suffocating the whole time afterwards. But seeing Jaehyun made his stomach drop and he felt horrible again. He was like a shadow, not being able to sleep nor to eat properly. He was hurt, because of what Jaehyun did and because Jaehyun didn’t seem to notice how horrible it made Doyoung feel. Jaehyun was all smiley and acting as if everything was fine, joking and laughing with the members in his usual manner. They weren’t cuddling anymore while sleeping, Doyoung craved the warmth but Jaehyun seemed to be perfectly fine with it. 

Taeyong approached Doyoung two days after he talked to Ten. He trapped him in the kitchen as he was doing dishes.  
„Doie, I don’t have a clue of what‘s going on but I see that you’re not fine and it breaks my heart.“, he said, sneaking his arms around Doyoungs thin waist. The younger one sighted and let his head rest in Taeyongs shoulder.  
„I just have troubles sleeping.“, Doyoung whispered. It was true, he did have troubles sleeping because he was imagining his boyfriend making out with someone who wasn’t him. But it wasn’t the main point of why he was feeling horrible. The worst was to wake up without Jaehyuns arms around him, without his dazzling smile, without his soft kisses.  
„Doie, we both know it’s not the main reason. If you’re scared that...your relationship will affect the group and you...possibly break up...we will figure it out together, okay?“  
Doyoung nodded, knowing that Taeyong only wanted his best. But he mentioned breaking up with Jaehyun and Doyoung never thought of that. Of course, he was hurt and he didn’t feel like he could continue like that. But breaking up? He loves Jaehyun. And he was sure that he will love Jaehyun until the day he dies. Doyoung blinked away tears that were forming in his eyes, excusing himself and fled from Taeyong. He walked past his room and he heard Jaehyun. He wasn’t alone, talking with someone, presumably Sicheng.  
„I don’t know what‘s wrong with him.“, Jaehyun said and Doyoung knew that he was talking about him. A weird feeling built up in his stomach, hearing his blyfriends hushed voice.  
„Okay, point one: you should fucking know what’s wrong with him, he’s your boyfriend! And point two, we both know it’s because you’re keeping it from him.“, the other one, Sicheng, exclaimed. Doyoung chewed on his bottom lip, holding himself back so that he won’t barge into the room.  
„But...I can’t tell him. It’s only temporary. It will blow over soon and everything will be fine again.“  
Oh yeah, Jung Jaehyun, that’s how it works, Doyoung thought.  
„You know what? Do whatever you want. But if you don’t want to lose Doyoung, you should tell him.“, Sicheng shouted and a second later, the door flew open and Sicheng stood in front of Doyoung. They stared at each other with big eyes until Sicheng stumbled forward to hug Doyoung tightly.  
„You do not deserve this.“

It took Jaehyun a whole day to finally approach Doyoung. The older was in their room, reading a book as Jaehyun came in. They stared at each other for a little eternity until Jaehyun spoke up.  
„Can we talk?“, he asked, voice tiny and Doyoung knew what will follow. Jaehyun would give him a whole ass speech that he was perfect and that everything was Jaehyuns fault.  
„I already know.“, Doyoung cried out, staring at his fingers, not being able to meet Jaehyuns gaze. He felt how the bed dipped down under Jaehyuns weight, who was now resting on the end of the bed.  
„You...know?“, he asked perplexed. Doyoung felt tears coming up, so he blinked aggressively to keep them from escaping.  
„You weren’t really subtle about it.“, Doyoung snorted. He looked up to meet Jaehyuns big eyes.   
„I...wasn’t?“, he asked dumbfounded and Doyoung could’ve slapped him for that.  
„Not at all! You’re leaving the dorm all the time without telling anyone where you’re going. Calling your „mom“ every day and she did not once greeted or spoke to any of us. You were avoiding me the whole time. And I heard parts of your conversation with Sicheng about me and telling me something and Sicheng told me that I didn’t deserve any of this. And that’s what I also feel. If you don’t want me anymore, why don’t you just break up with me? It would’ve been less hurtful.“  
It wouldn’t. Tears were rolling down Doyoungs cheeks, still looking at Jaehyun, searching for a reaction. But Jaehyun was just opening and closing his mouth.  
„I don’t want to break up with you. I love you.“  
Doyoungs heart was thumping, hurting with every beat. Jaehyuns words making him feel worse and worse.  
„I can’t continue like that. I can’t love you and care for you and sleep with you when I know that I’m not the only one. I can’t be with you when I know that you’re cheating on me.“, Doyoung said, now fully sobbing. He buried his face in his hands, feeling bad that Jaehyun saw him like that. He felt arms around his shoulders and even if he tried to fight against them, he couldn’t, coming to rest against Jaehyuns strong chest.  
„Baby...“, Jaehyun whispered with his soft voice and it made Doyoung whimper.   
„I treated you wrong the past week, I know that and Sicheng pretty much showed me how much of a shitty person I am. But I never ever cheated on you. You’re my everything and I will never stop loving you. I...I kept a secret from you and it’s an explanation for all of the things you said but it’s not that I’m cheating or that I don’t love you anymore.“, Jaehyun explained, voice shaking so that Doyoung knew that he was also crying. Doyoung wanted to give in so badly but he couldn’t. Not when he spent the last week in pain because of that.  
„And what is it?“, he asked weakly and muffed due to Jaehyuns sweater. Jaehyuns fingers were combing through his hair, Jaehyuns heart was beating fast.  
„I know that I should’ve told you and I feel horrible for keeping it from you and acting as if everything was fine. I was embarrassed and thought it would’ve been easier for you that way...“, Jaehyun said and Doyoung had enough. He sat up and poked Jaehyuns chest violently.  
„Stop thinking about what would be better for me because apparently you suck at that and make me feel worse. Just spill the fucking tea.“, Doyoung shouted in Jaehyuns face. The younger one bit his lower lip, chewed it so it started bleeding.  
„I...I have a temporary erectile dysfunction.“  
Jaehyuns cheeks flushed red as soon as he said that and Doyoungs mind went blank.  
„You...what?“, he asked in disbelief.  
Jaehyuns face was now so red that Doyoung wouldn’t be surprised if it starts burning.  
„I can’t get erected. I...just can’t.“, Jaehyun repeated, looking down at his lap. Doyoung felt bad for him, so he gently pulled him into his arms.  
„So you’re telling me that you completely neglected me, and I mean completely so that I was thinking you were cheating on me and ready to break up, because you couldn’t get erected?“, Doyoung asked. Jaehyun looked up to his boyfriend, eyes big so that he looked like a kicked puppy.  
„If you say it like that, it sounds as if I’m an idiot.“  
Doyoung snorted and flicked Jaehyuns forehead.  
„Well, you are. How else could I say it?“, he asked. Jaehyun bit his lip again, shrugging.  
„I was scared. That you will think I don’t find you attractive anymore. But I still find you very very attractive. But...I noticed it as I woke up after the hottest dream I ever had. You were fucking me on the kitchen table and you were so dominant and I woke up, ready to jack myself off to the moon but...but I wasn’t hard? So I went to the bathroom and experimented on my dick but nothing happened and then I called the manager and we went to the doctors office the next day. But they couldn’t help me because it wasn’t a physical dysfunction so I went to a psychotherapist and he diagnosed me that I’m super stressed and gave me funny pills that I have to take every day and apparently they should help.“, Jaehyun explained his reasoning. Doyoung just flicked Jaehyuns forehead again.  
„I hate you so fucking much.“, he said before kissing Jaehyun violently. His boyfriend pulled him closer, arms around Doyoungs thin waist. Jaehyun sucked on his lower lip, Doyoungs mouth fell open naturally so that Jaehyun could slip his tongue inside, tasting every bit of Doyoungs mouth. Maybe it was hot but maybe it was Doyoungs sexual frustration, but he grew harder with every second, his boner pressed against Jaehyuns belly.  
„I’m sorry.“, Doyoung apologized breathlessly. They parted and Jaehyun caressed his cheek.  
„Trust me, I would usually be also erected now.“  
Doyoung pecked Jaehyuns lips again, rolling himself off Jaehyuns lap so that they were lying next to each other.  
„Can I try...?“, Doyoung asked, looking at Jaehyun with big eyes. Jaehyun nodded, even if he was worried that it wouldn’t change anything and both of them end up being more frustrated. Doyoung propped himself on his elbow, letting his hand slip under the waistband of Jaehyuns sweatpants, taking his dick in his hand. He kissed Jaehyuns neck, nibbling the skin while he stroked his member carefully with a steady pace. Jaehyun had his eyes closed, while Doyoung squeezed his dick on all the right places. But nothing happened.  
„You...you can stop.“, Jaehyun said after probably 10 long minutes, kissing Doyoungs forehead. But older one was eager to help his boyfriend. He stood up, running to the door, locking it. Then he came back to the bed again, getting rid his clothes on the way, sat on Jaehyuns lap, completely naked and with his beautiful dick on display.  
„Can I have a leg?“, he asked cutely and Jaehyun could only nod breathlessly. Doyoung smirked and kissed Jaehyun passionately before he gently rubbed his member against Jaehyuns thigh. His head fell on Jaehyuns shoulder while he continued, Jaehyuns hands came to rest on his hips.   
„You have no idea how hot you are.“, Jaehyun whispered, squeezing Doyoungs sweet butt, making him moan loudly. Doyoung ground his hips against Jaehyuns muscular thigh, picking up his pace. It didn’t take long for him to come, falling on his back after his orgasm, catching his breath. He propped himself up on his elbows, grinning at Jaehyun cheekily.  
„So baby, how do you want to get off?“, Doyoung asked cutely and Jaehyun only then realized that he was in fact hard. He blinked a few too many times, staring at Doyoung.  
„See, I could’ve helped you with your problem.“  
They shared a hot kiss, Doyoung settled himself on Jaehyuns lap, his butt pressing against Jaehyuns erection.  
„Do you want to fuck me into the mattress?“, Doyoung whispered in Jaehyuns ear, licking it teasingly. Jaehyun could only nod. They switched regularly, but Doyoung was the dominant one so it was just logical that he would top more often. Doyoung smirked, letting his butt rub over Jaehyuns erection once again before he hopped off the bed to get some lube. As he crashed on the bed again a minute later, Jaehyun was also naked, stroking his dick amazed.  
„Stop that.“, Doyoung said, slapping his fingers. He was laying on his back, Jaehyun now hovering above him and that’s when everything crashed down on him. Not even an hour ago, he thought that he lost everything.  
„Baby, what‘s wrong?“, Jaehyun asked worriedly, because Doyoung was crying. Jaehyun caressed his cheek, pulling him close.  
„I thought that I’ve lost you.“, Doyoung whimpered, eyes closed, still trying to keep the tears from escaping.   
„I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I will never leave you. You have to keep up with me until we’re both old and wrinkly.“  
Doyoung giggled, opening his eyes to see Jaehyuns, looking at him with so much love. They shared a sweet kiss.  
„How about making love tonight, hmm?“, Jaehyun whispered, kissing Doyoungs nose and his cheeks and his chin. Doyoung nodded, hands wandering over Jaehyuns perfectly sculpted body, while Jaehyun poured a good amount of lube on his fingers. They kissed again as Jaehyun started preparing Doyoung, thrusting his fingers inside and Doyoung had his eyes closed, enjoying the longly missed intimacy.  
„Are you ready, love?“, Jaehyun whispered and Doyoung nodded. The younger one sat up, letting his back rest against the headboard of the bed. Doyoung poured some lube on his fingers to gently stroke Jaehyuns dick and making it slick. Then he balanced himself on his knees and sunk down on Jaehyuns dick. Both of them moaned in pleasure, foreheads resting against each other. Jaehyun had his hands on Doyoungs hips, the older one had his wrapped around Jaehyuns neck, bringing them so close to each other. Doyoung started rolling his hips and the friction was so much, even for him. Jaehyun had his eyes closed, mouth hanging open and he thrusted upwards to meet Doyoungs hips. Doyoung leaned forward to meet Jaehyuns lips for a kiss, consisting of nothing but teeth and saliva. They ground their hips against each other, Doyoungs now hard dick rubbed against Jaehyuns stomach. Jaehyun gently pulled Doyoungs hips down as soon as he thrusted upwards to fill up Doyoung even better. With that, he managed to find Doyoungs sweet spot, making him cry out in pleasure, begging him to find that spot again. Jaehyun thrusted in faster, harder and deeper, eager to find that spot again, to pleasure his boyfriend.  
„Baby, I’m...“, Jaehyun gasped. Doyoung kissed him passionately, still grinding his hips until Jaehyun finally came. They stayed exactly like that, catching their breaths. Jaehyun was still breathing heavily as he took Doyoungs dick in his hands, getting him off gently but fast so that Doyoung came on both of their stomachs only a few minutes later.   
„You won’t believe me how amazing that was.“, Jaehyun said, his lips pressed against Doyoungs neck. Doyoung giggled, combing his fingers through Jaehyuns sweaty hair.  
„Because of me or because you finally got your beloved boner again?“, he asked, his signature gummy smile on his face. Jaehyun gently hit his chest.  
„We should clean up.“, Jaehyun said. Doyoung hummed and nodded, head laying on Jaehyuns shoulder.  
„You have to stand up for this.“  
Jaehyun giggled as Doyoung shook his head, arms curling around Jaehyuns torso.  
„Carry me.“, he begged with a sweet voice. Jaehyun rolled his eyes.  
„Baby, I can’t carry you if you’re still sitting on my dick.“  
Doyoung pouted as he stood up, cum dripping down his leg. Jaehyun also stood up, wrapping his arms around Doyoungs waist.  
„You’re the most beautiful human being.“, he whispered, kissing Doyoungs shoulder. Doyoung just flicked his forehead.  
„You’re cheesy. And I will take a shower now.“  
He searched for his underwear to not fully shock the members who possibly cross his way. Jaehyun trailed after him like a puppy. They took a quick shower (really quick and only a few pecks were exchanged) and moved back to the bedroom to get dressed and to change the sheets.   
„Are you hungry?“, Jaehyun asked, arms around Doyoungs waist once again. Their noses bopped against each other, mouths stretched to a wide grin as they stared into each others eyes.  
„Hmm, pretty much starving.“  
Jaehyun finally closed the gap and kissed Doyoung breathless before linking their fingers.  
„Let me make you something to eat then.“  
They walked to the kitchen, past the living room were all the 127 and Ten were piled. Taeyong was the first one to notice, scanning them both from head to toe before grinning at Doyoung. Next was Sicheng who dramatically threw his hands up in the air to thank god for finally blessing Jaehyun with some brain. Jaehyun rolled his eyes and pecked Doyoungs cheek, leaving for the kitchen. Ten was staring at him dumbfounded, pulling him out of the room to talk.  
„So, everything is perfect again even if he cheated?“, Ten asked, arms crossed in front of his chest.   
„He didn’t. It was a misunderstanding, we cleared up everything.“  
Ten only rose an eyebrow but hugged Doyoung tightly.   
„As long as you are happy.“  
Doyoung only smiled on that. He was happy. Very happy.  
„If you would excuse me, I kinda miss him.“, Doyoung said, cheeks blushed. Ten rolled his eyes but ruffled Doyoungs hair.  
„You’re whipped.“

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> kudos are appreciated <3


End file.
